


The Right Way Round

by DontTouchMySeaweedBrain



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Forced Self Harm, Gen, Hurt Scott, Mental Hospitals, Mental Institutions, ProScott, Scott McCall As Primary, Self-Harm, Spoilers past 5x10, post 5A, tbh this is so awful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-04-22 19:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4847687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontTouchMySeaweedBrain/pseuds/DontTouchMySeaweedBrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his death, Scott is admitted to Eichen House, and honestly, everything is fine until it's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the bottom of a swimming pool

The first time Scott went catatonic was his first full moon. The force of the change, of seeing himself that way, as something less than human, it was too much. He spent the weekend locked in his room, and if anyone noticed that on Monday he was a little thinner, a little more tired, a little bit more scared, they didn’t say anything.

The second time was after Peter had shoved his claws into Scott’s neck, and memories of flames and screaming that didn’t belong to him ran wild through his head. When he woke up, head pounding and fingers flexing as though he had just discovered them, he took a puff of his inhaler for the first time in weeks.

The third time was the time Stiles had noticed. It was right after the attack at the police station, when Matt had shot him and his mother had essentially disowned him, and the smell of death was all around him. The smell of people he had failed to save, the sight of Allison drawing her bow at him, how Stiles and Derek had gotten hurt, it all mixed in his head until he couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

“Scott? Hey, it’s time to go home.” Stiles’ voice in his ear.

“Scott? You okay?” Stiles worried. Stiles scared.

“Scott? Scott. Scott!” No, that wasn’t good, what was happening?

“Sorry, what?” He looked up. Nothing happened. Nothing was happening.

“N-Nothing. Let’s head home.”

“I can’t.”

“Stay the night.”

“O-Okay.”

He felt nervousness edge around Stiles like a sheath and guilt curled into his stomach. This had to stop.

The fourth time was after the nogitsune had twisted a sword into his gut using his best friend’s fingers. Even if he didn’t have any right to it, he couldn’t bring himself to look Deaton in the eye after Stiles, not-Stiles, had broken him like it hadn’t meant anything. Broken like Kira on the floor with a concussion and he couldn’t move to help her. Broken like Deaton’s look as he carried Stiles to an abandoned jeep while Scott could do nothing but watch. Broken like whatever he tried to do would be meaningless so why even try. But then he did.

The fifth time was too much. Allison’s body in his arms, and a funeral before Isaac left, Derek gone and electricity running through his veins, sharper than pain he deserved more than the people in the hospital. Somehow he got home before anyone noticed that he was shaking, that his blood was dripping off his hands, that he was breaking into so many pieces that it was all he could do to say that he was fine.

And then there was Theo. When Theo came, he seemed like the medicine to whatever was wrong with Scott. He was sweet like a cure and then he was bitter like the truth.

And when Theo was done, Scott didn’t make it out of the sixth time.

* * *

 After the whole dying thing, all he had wanted to do was not exist. And so he didn’t. Until three days later, when he had woken in the depths of Eichen House with nurses and orderlies standing over him.

Eichen House was sort of like a release and a burden at the same time. He didn’t have to worry about anything, not about Peter, not about Theo, not about anybody trying to hurt him or his pack. The downside of all this was that he didn’t have a pack anymore.

He could feel their absence, and it hurt, like someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and he had somehow continued to breathe.

Eichen House wasn’t perfect, but it was the best he could do and that was all he had left to offer. And for a while, it even worked.

People listened in therapy, and they let him help too. People asked questions, asked if he was okay, and it shouldn’t have felt so good to have someone focus on him.

And he didn’t have to worry about anything, there was no pressure, no one depended on him for anything more than he could give. Peter was so far away that he hadn’t heard the name since before his admittance. It was like breathing again.

“How about we talk about your friends today?” Cody, his therapist, asks.

“I’m not sure. I- which one?” They were here to help him, and they still let him decide.

“It’s up to you. Could we talk about Derek Hale?”

“I guess. I mean, there’s not much to tell about Derek. I was kind of scared of him in the beginning, but then he was like a teacher or an older brother. He was good.”

“And how do you feel about him being gone.”

“I can’t really blame him for wanting to get away from Beacon Hills. I mean, if I’d had the option, I would have done the same.”

“What do you mean, if you’d had the option?”

“I couldn’t abandon my pack. And the people here needed me. I had to stay,”

“So why doesn’t the same apply to Derek?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean, Derek was a part of the pack. And if the people here needed you, didn’t they need him too? Why do these rules apply to you and not to him?”

“Because… I just… I have to be the one to stay. I understand why he did it.”

“Why does it have to be you who stays, Scott? From my point of view, you have more right to leave than he does. He was born here, born a werewolf. You were a victim, and you still stayed.”

“That doesn’t mean that Derek has to.”  
“And I get that, but if those rules are the reason you can’t leave, and Derek is bound by the same rules and he left, what stopped you from leaving?”

“I don’t- I guess I could leave, but I’d be leaving too many people behind.”

“Are you angry that Derek left you, then?”

“What?”

“I mean, you’ve said multiple times that you understand why Derek left, but you haven’t told me how you feel about it. So, are you hurt, angry, resentful? Derek got to leave and you didn’t?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“That’s okay, Scott. We’re almost out of time anyways. Do you maybe want to talk about Peter again?”

He takes a deep breath. And lets it out.

He stays silent until the end of the session.

* * *

 

He leaves therapy feeling drained, but brightens when he reaches the day room and the window seat remains unclaimed. Snatching up a book from the shelves without bothering to check the title, he jumps onto the cushion, grinning at the chuckles he gathers from his small audience. And he’s fine until he looks at the cover.

The Dread Doctors stares up at him, and he recoils, letting out a cry that draws all attention back to him. He stares in horror as his hands begin to shake. Flashbacks twist in his mind, standing over him, injecting their poison. The screams of his friends linger in his ears, and suddenly, there are orderlies standing in front of him.

All he has to do is raise his hands in surrender before he’s gone. He looks up, and it’s them, but it’s also Corey, who has a boyfriend he adores. It’s Hayden who stays with him after he takes his pills and it’s Tracey who holds his hand on full moons. He doesn’t want to see so he closes his eyes, but that only makes it worse.

 _They’re not rough._ He tells himself as they drag him down the hallway.

 _They’re doing their job._ He thinks as they strap him down.

 _This is what happens when you have an episode._ He tries when he can’t remember why they’re taking blood and poking needles.

All he can see is gas masks above him and all he can think is that he deserves it. 

 


	2. The Wrong Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months later, Liam shows up.

Liam is fine. He really is.

Hayden’s fine, Mason’s fine, even if he’s angry. So Liam is fine.

But he would be better if he could apologize.

No one has seen Scott since the end, and Liam is tired of the flinching whenever someone says his name. Or something he would like. Or anything really. There’s not any way to picture his life without Scott. And he misses him.

And so he knocks.

“Mrs. McCall?” He asks when she answers the door, still dressed in her nurse’s uniform. “Sorry to bother you.”

“No. No, it’s fine, Liam. What can I do for you?” She asks, and she sounds angry, there’s a hard edge that he’s never heard before in her voice.

“Can you tell me where Scott is?” He asks, giving her his best apologetic face.

There’s a far off look that comes into her eyes, and he thinks for a second that he’s lost her, but she nods.

“I was just on my way myself. I’ll take you with me.”

The car ride is filled with a thick silence. She knows. She knows, she’s angry, and she has every right to be. But he’s never imagined Mrs. McCall angry like this.

But then he gets it. This is the way Scott has been with everyone who’s ever tried to hurt him, or Stiles, or Kira, Malia, his pack. But Mrs. McCall’s pack includes only Scott.

He’s gotten so lost that he doesn’t notice where they are until they get there.

“What the hell are we doing here? Is Scott in here? Why is Scott in Eichen House?” He whirls on Mrs. McCall. “He’s supposed to be at college!”

“Yeah. He was.” Her voice sounds thick, but she presses on, wrapping her jacket tightly around her.

His thoughts are a whirlwind, but his body keeps going, anxious to reach his alpha, even if everything in his head is telling him to run.

When the door opens, warmth settles around him, trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

“Hi, Mrs. McCall.” The nurse at the desk smiles. “We’ve actually got some forms for you to sign on the new treatment, so if you want to stay here, I can get your friend all signed in. Name?” She smiles expectantly at him, and he wonders how she can be so cheerful when she works at a house full of crazy people.

“Liam Dunbar.” He says distractedly.

“Okay, Liam. I’m gonna need your phone, keys, money, any kind of sharp object, things like that.” He emptied his pockets and noted that Melissa had done so before she had left the car.

The nurse handed him a name tag that read ‘guest.’ “Just put this on and wait here. Someone will take you to see him in just a few minutes.

“Melissa if you could come with me, I need to talk to you in private.” Mrs. McCall nods to him before she goes through a door marked ‘employees only.’

“Okay, so there was another episode, just last night actually. Some book totally freaked him out, and then he started fighting. We need your permission to start on some more intense tr-”

“Liam Dunbar?” He looked up. A security guard stood above him, reading off a clipboard, and he jumped to his feet.

“That’s me. Can I see Scott now?”

“That’s where I’m taking you. Down with the rest of the monsters.”

“Wait- is he with Peter, then?”

“Who- Peter Hale? No way. Scott’s great. Even after an episode, he doesn’t try and hurt anyone. No, he’s only down with the supernaturals because we’re getting close to a full moon. Even then, we wouldn’t stick a kid with a nutjob like Peter.”

“But that woman, she said-wait. Scott’s been a werewolf for years, he knows how to control himself.”

“I know he does, but we can’t take any chances on our human patients seeing anything. Now, we can talk, or you can see Scott.”

“Let’s see Scott.”

“Then let’s go.” Before Liam can begin a sprint to the elevators, the guard blocks him. “With ground rules.” Liam sighs, impatient, but the guard doesn’t back down.

“I’m serious. Kid had a pretty bad episode last night, and you need to be careful about what you talk to him about. I know you can hear his heartbeat, so if something upsets him, just stop talking. If you do something, then you have to wait until he asks to come back.”

“Okay,” Liam taps his foot. “Can I see him now?”

The guard nods and steps aside (finally), and Liam races to the elevator.

“Um, what floor?” He asks, and the guard laughs.

“Basement level. 5B. Don’t get eaten, please.”

The doors close and the elevator doesn’t move fast enough. When it stops, there’s barely enough space for him to squeeze through, but he’s already sprinting.

He ends up going the wrong way three times.

When he finally ends up at 5B, he opens the door and it’s empty, but that gives him time to adjust to the opposite of what he’d expected.

When he thought of Eichen House, he thought of whitewashed walls and iron bars, maybe a torture chamber in the basement. But the walls were a calming blue and books were piled everywhere. There was only one bed, but it wasn’t old and rusted; it looked clean and new.

Liam waited. It couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes, but it felt like the three months he had been avoiding Scott’s name.

 _Why would Scott be in here?_ He wondered. I _t can’t have been because of us-me. It can’t be._

When the door opens to reveal Scott, the alpha flinches as Liam jumps off the bed, and that’s almost as bad as the blow of seeing Scott like this.

He’s thinner, and his heartbeat is less steady, and there are marks on his wrists, and his hair is too long, and there are a million different things wrong, but when he gets to Scott’s face, it’s happy. He’s _smiling._

“Liam!” He exclaims, and for the smallest second, his arms extend like they’re going around him, but then they drop back.

“Hey, Scott.” He doesn’t move, but his pulse has jumped.

“Um, let’s sit down.”

Scott looks genuinely happy to see him, and that’s almost enough to ease the knot in his stomach. 

“So how are you, how is everyone?” Scott asks once they’re both on the bed, crosslegged like they’re still kids. They aren’t very close, but they’re close enough that Liam could reach out if he wanted.

“They’re good. We’re all good.” What he doesn’t say is that he doesn’t really know. He hasn’t really seen anyone since Theo reanimated the chimeras and disappeared. There were updates, but they were few and far in between.

“They’re good.” He smiles, but he can’t stop staring. He just looks so fragile, and there’s not a way for him to look at anything else, like a car crash. Scott’s a car crash and Liam was the drunk driver.

“How’re you, Liam? Is… What happened?” He sounds guilty, but after what Liam did, he doesn’t know how Scott can be?

“I’m okay. Hayden’s okay, even if I haven’t seen her unless it’s at school. Her sister keeps her on a pretty tight leash lately. But, um, Mason’s okay. Mason’s great, even if he’s pissed. But, uh, he’s good. I’m good.”

“Mason’s okay? I know Theo did a number on his head—”

“Mason’s fine, but Scott, Theo did a number on _you._ Mason said that you were dead, that Theo killed you.” Scott’s happy-calm shatters. The troubled look that Liam was so used to slipped over his face, but he’s looking right through Liam.

“He did. And I… I’ve been dead before. But that time was different.” Scott’s eyes focus. “And I trusted Theo.”

“You trusted us, too, Scott. And of course you believed Theo. He was the only one of us who didn’t leave you. I… I came here to apologize.”

“And I understand why you did it.”

“But—”

“Liam. I know. Really.” And Scott smiles, radiant like he hasn’t seen in months, and when Scott’s arms go around him, that warmth is almost enough to distract from Scott’s ribs digging into him. And that Scott never really forgave him.

“So, how’s school going?” Scott asks when they let go, and Liam chatters mindlessly about english projects and SATS, before he finally takes a deep breath.

“Scott, why are you here? I just… I don’t understand how you can be here after everything that happened.” Scott opens his mouth, but Liam isn’t done. “You don’t look okay.”

“Liam, you have to understand, I haven't been okay for a long time. I just didn't know. Well, I knew, but there were more pressing matters.” His eyes flit to the floor. I'm here because I'm not okay, and I need to get better.” When he puts it like that, eyes honest and sad, and completely unaware of just how many bad things Liam sees every time he looks at the walls. Scott smiles, like he knows what Liam is thinking because he always has.

“When I first got here, it freaked me out too. I kept seeing monsters around every corner. But it’s helping, being here.” Scott takes his hand, squeezes it once, and Liam can feel a little bit of his anger, disbelief, everything, fading. But it’s not enough to convince him that they shouldn’t be running right now. So he waits.

“How long has it been since you’ve had a chocolate bar?” He asks, smiling like an echo as he changes the subject.

“Ugh, it’s been forever,” Scott sighs. “There’s some vending machines upstairs if you’re hungry.” Liam knows.

“Yeah, let’s head up.” Scott nods, and they walk out the door. Liam glances at the orderly for a second before following Scott to the stairs, not willing to bother with the elevator and the key.

“Mom!” Scott exclaims, and starts to run up the stairs, and when he starts to falter, Melissa is there to catch him.”

“Hey, Scott.” She squeezes him tight, and buries her head in his shoulder for a moment before her head’s back up.

Her hand rests just above his pulse point as she puts her arm around him, waiting for Scott to catch his breath. “How are you, Scott?”

Scott looks back, just for a second, as if to make sure he’s still there. _I’m still here._ He thinks. _I’m not going anywhere._

Scott talks about therapy and drugs, and he tunes it all out as they walk to the vending machine, at least until Melissa asks what he’s been wanting to since he laid eyes on Scott.

“Have you been eating?” Scott’s face get’s a little darker.

“I have been eating. I swear. Every time they take me to the cafeteria I eat." And he’s not lying, his heartbeat is steady the whole way, and he’s not tense, not controlling it. “Some days I eat practically the whole cafeteria.” He tries a smile, but it looks tired and out of place.

Melissa looks at him, and he shakes his head, and she pretends to relax. Not well, enough that he doesn’t notice, so Scott definitely did, but enough that they can pay for their candy bars and head to the dayroom.

It’s a while before they all start speaking again, but once they do, Liam and Scott are off like a rocket, almost like nothing has changed. But it has.

He sees it in Scott’s little flinches as Liam waves his hands to indicate the stupidity of the SATs, and the way he dances around talking about his injuries, the way he’s constantly rubbing at bruises that should have been long gone. Are long gone.

Liam knows that Scott hasn’t forgiven him, and he understands why. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

But that’s really not what he needs to be worried about now. He should be worried about getting Scott out.

Scott and his mother are in a heated discussion about the best ice cream flavor (mint chocolate chip for Scott and vanilla for Melissa) when the orderly comes in and announces that visiting hours are almost over.

The room is filled with the sounds of goodbyes, and Liam figures that it means he has a few minutes.

“Okay, so if Melissa distracts the guy at the front desk, I think we have a pretty good shot at making a run for it.” He says intently, focused on the orderly at the door.

The McCalls tense as one, and he can’t tell if they’re getting ready or arguing.

Scott’s face is guarded when he says, “Liam, I’m going to stay here.

“Scott, look at yourself!” He exclaims, holding up Scott’s bruised wrist. “They’re killing you!” Scott flinches, but steels himself.

“I’m fine. I’m better here.” Scott says calmly, letting Liam hold on to him. “This is helping.”

“Then why have you lost weight. There’s circles under your eyes like you haven't slept in weeks. Scott, this isn’t helping.”

“It’s his choice.” Melissa says, and from her eyes, he can see that she almost agrees with him. Even so, she’s going to stand by Scott.

He can see that they’re not going along with this.

“Visiting hours are over,” the orderly interrupts from behind him, big, and intimidating, and there’s no way in hell he’s getting Scott out now.

“Bye, Scott.” He says, resigned. “I’ll come back.”

“Okay.” There’s suspicion in his eyes that is slowly replaced by strength. “Bye mom. Bye Liam.” He even gives a little wave.

He takes the elevator with Melissa, and when the orderly steps in with them, he’s about to attack until Melissa puts a hand on the small of his back. “We’ll talk in the car,” she says, but it’s pounding in his ears.

“Have a nice day,” The lady at the front desk says, and he’s never hated the sound more.

* * *

He walks out the door feeling like he’s succeeded at something for the first time in months. “I’m glad he’s doing okay.” He smiles at Melissa. She seems calmer, now that she’s seen her son. “I was so worried after Mason told me… But I’m glad he’s getting help.”

“Me too,” she unlocks the car and opens the door. “I was worried for a while, but ever since he’s been in there, he’s been so much better. He even looks better. I know Eichen House doesn’t have the best reputation, but I think it’s been good for him.”

He nods. They drive, but it’s not as tense as it was on the way there. Seeing Scott looking so good has done both of them well.

“Can I tell the others? I think they’ll want to see him, too.”

“One at a time. I think too many people would overwhelm him.”

“Okay. Man, Stiles is gonna flip when I tell him.” The car door opens, and he gets out.

“No. No Stiles. Not yet. Scott is no way ready for Stiles to come and yell at him again. No Stiles until he’s ready to apologize.” She says firmly before he closes the door.

He nods solemnly, and she smiles tightly before she drives away.

His finger is already on a call button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there. This is now the complete version of this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed! If you've got the time, I would love to hear from you. Thanks for reading!  
> Love, Abby


	3. Things I Didn't Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her Alpha is a mystery, and ever since he helped her back, Malia has been good at solving those.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! The complete version of chapter two is now up, so if you're coming back, you might wanna check that out! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

After Liam leaves, Scott spends a long time curled up on his bed. His mom always talks like that in the beginning. Like she wants him to come home more than anything. And for once, just once, he can’t give her that.

It’s guilt curling in his stomach when Liam tells him the plan to escape, knowing that he can’t leave. Knowing that his beta wants him out, but he _won’t_ go.

But they’ve told him over and over that he needs to stay, so he will. Maybe soon, he’ll start asking about leaving.

“Alright, let’s start with something simple today. I’m going to say something, and I need you to tell me the first thing you think of.”

“Okay.”

“Ice.”

“De-Cold. Cold.”

“Fire.”

“Party.”

“Water.”

“Drowning.”

“School.”

“Bio.”

“Animals.”

“Vet.”

“Time.”

“Passing.”

“Missing.”

“Isaac.” His breath catches. He hadn’t meant to say that.

“Scott? Do you think we can talk about Isaac today.”

He doesn’t quite have the words back, so he just nods.

“How often have you heard from Isaac since he left?”

“Not much. Texts here and there. Since he turned 18, they’re mostly drunk ones.” He almost laughs. “Nothing much besides that.”

“How have you been since he left?”

“I’ve been fine. It sucks that he left, and I miss him, but it’s not like him leaving blew a massive hole in my psyche.”

“No, but Allison did.” He swallows, picking at his shirt sleeve.

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.”

“And having Issac there would have helped.”

“It doesn’t matter what Isaac could have done for me.” He got away, and it helped him. So, it’s okay.”

“We talked about this, Scott. You’re allowed to want things. You’re allowed to feel hur of disappointed when people hurt you.”

“He didn’t mean to.”

“But he did. How does that make you feel?

There’s silence for a long beat.

“I think we should move on.”

“Okay.”

“I think we should talk about school now.”

“Okay. What’s the plan for vet school?”

Scott recites numbers and facts he knows by heart until his session is over. He goes back to the dayroom armed with a plan on how he will get back to school, to his life, to his pack. For the first time in a long time, it feels good to think about going back.

The dayroom is cold and rainy today; there’s not one there but a girl with long brown hair that makes him think of Tracy in the window seat. Someone else he didn’t save.

“Someone scheduled an emergency group. Adults only, though, so we’re off the hook.” She grins, and shivers a little. There’s a book open on her lap.

He crosses over to her, holding out a hand. “I’m Scott,” he says, and he’s about to ask her what she’s reading when his hand touches hers and pain surges through him. Black runs up his arms instantly, but he hadn’t even been trying.

Dimly, he hears her gasp as he hits the floor. Slowly, he looks up.

“I’m okay, it’s okay. Just a dizzy thing.” But they both know what they saw.

Despite it, he smiles, and waits until hers is genuine to come up and sit next to her.

They talk about Metamorphosis for hours, and even though he’s laughing with her, he can’t help but wonder if it’s starting again, if this is why he’s here.

He doesn’t touch her again.

* * *

The memories Malia has of Eichen House aren’t fond ones, but she knows that she owes it to Scott to go in.

“What’s your name, dear?” The lady at the front desk asks. Something, maybe everything smells off, smells wrong, but maybe that’s just her.

“Malia Tate.” Of all the horrible things that had happened, she could now answer that question with no hesitation. It had been Scott who had helped her decide.

_It’s up to you, Malia. I know Derek, and even if he is a dick, he’s one of the best people I know now. But it was the Tates who you lived with. They raised you. It all comes down to what you want.”_

_“I don’t want to be Peter’s daughter.” She might not know much about humanity, but Peter’s not it._

_“Then you’re not.” He says kindly, the way he says, and does everything. If she had to pick something to be a part of, she didn’t mind being a part of Scott’s pack._

But then it fell apart. It wasn’t like she couldn’t see the cracks all around them.

She just didn’t expect it to be Scott who shattered first.

When she thought about it, it made sense. Scott was carrying all of them, so everything they felt was on him too. He was the strongest of them, quiet and invincible. Until he wasn’t.

When she realized what Theo had done, staring at the bodies that couldn’t say their own words, she ran. Fast and hard until she found the cave where she had made her peace.

She taught herself what to do, time and time again, and by the time she came back, it was already over.

No one would tell her the details, but she deserved that. Senior year had ended without the grades she wanted, but that didn’t matter as much as she thought. Tension within the pack had gone, but so had the other half of it. Even so, the half that remained was making it’s way back together.

She thinks Scott would be happy about that, more like she knows it. He’d want the best of the pack even if he wasn’t there.

“Malia?” The lady asks, and she walks up to receive her name tag. “Who are you here to see?”

“Scott McCall.” She replies, and she lets her eyes glow blue when the woman starts to shake her head.

“Are you part of his pack?” She asks, keeping her voice down.

“Yes. Have there been people who aren’t?” She asks, and she’s not lowering hers.

The woman keeps her eyes down, and Malia sighs.

“Just tell me where he is.” She’s half snarling now, her senses are all in overdrive.

She hands over a key. “Room 5B on the basement level. He should be back soon.”

Her fangs disappear and her eyes go back to brown. “Thank you.”

She’s not running, she’s just walking fast. And she swears that the elevator is spiting her. It doesn’t take her long to find Scott’s room, his scent is all over it. And there’s nothing wrong with it. It smells normal, if slightly stale.

She remembers being here, knows that Scott is probably at group or relaxing in the dayroom or showering, but she’s so tense, and she doesn’t know if it’s from memories or anticipation.

She jumps when Scott comes around the corner, accompanied by vaguely familiar orderlies. But they’re not the ones she’s focusing on. Liam had said that Scott looked good, but he looked like someone who didn’t have the resources to keep going. Even so, he smiles, big and bright like always, when he sees her.

“Malia!” His arms are halfway around her before she puts hers up, but she holds him tight and inhales his scent. All of the tension eases out of her.

“Hey Scott.” She says, squeezing tight and rubbing up and down his back. He’s shaking, but she can’t tell if it’s from cold or something else.

The door opens somehow, but when she looks up, the orderlies are gone.

“It’s fine, I’m pretty much good to do whatever during visiting hours. They’re allowed to leave,” Scott says, settling on the bed, knees pulled up to his chest. His hair’s longer. “How are you, Malia?” He asks, smiling warmly. She had forgotten.

“I’m good, I’m good. Um, classes are, uh, good. I’m at UCLA, and the teachers all know the backstory and my psych teacher gives me extra credit if I come in and talk to her about my ‘traumatic experience,’ so it’s all good.” She smiles again, and her cheeks start to hurt. She doesn’t know how Scott does it all the time.

“That’s great. The tutors here are actually pretty good. They know a lot about Bio, and I think that it’s gonna help a lot.”

“And, uh,” She starts, watching carefully for a reaction. “Stiles and I are doing good. Lydia’s my roommate, and Stiles got a room alone, somehow.” She hears his heartbeat pick up.  His hands twist in the fabric of his sweatpants, playing with the holes in the knees.

 She can’t take it back, talking about the life he was supposed to have with them. She can’t take back talking about Stiles when she knows what he did. They’re silent for a long while. Neither of them really know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” She moves to sling an arm over his shoulder when black starts racing up his veins, and he flinches away from her.

“Oh my god,” she exclaims, backing off.

“I’m sorry,” he says, moving gracefully off the bed. “It just happens sometimes, I guess.” Her heart is still racing, and his is almost louder than hers.

He moves to the chair, and it’s silent for a while longer.

“Did you bring anything you need to work on?” He asks, and she sighs, because she doesn’t know how much longer she can take this nothing. Scott’s always been the sun, warm and energetic and aware, and seeing him this muted is like being human again. Everything is different, and she doesn’t like this change.

“Trig book is in the car. I’ll be right back.” She heads out the open door. The hallways are confusing and inescapable but that’s nothing compared to Scott’s room.

 **eichen house. 9**  she’s halfway through a text when she walks out the door.

* * *

She drives back to Stiles thinking that maybe everything will be okay. When she looks at her phone, she can't remember what she was typing.

 ****  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you all liked it! I am a huge fan of Malia Tate. I find her character so interesting to play with, especially in relation to Scott. I just had the best day (despite my impeding lit exam). I got to see Rick Riordan talk about his new series today, and I got a signed book! Anyways, ig you have the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!  
> Love, Abby!


	4. California

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Beacon Hills won't let either of them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm giving in and writing a little bit about Stiles. Triggers for self harm (at least if you consider taking pain self harm).

Group was Scott’s favorite form of therapy. He liked listening to other people’s stories, liked offering advice. Liked it when people listened. And sometimes, Scott even liked sharing.

“Today’s topic is loss.” Theo said, reading from what must have been a carefully typed piece of paper. “Someone, something that you had, but don’t have anymore. Something big or little. Anything. We’re listening.”

Lisa talks about a dog she had, and Scott thinks about Roxie. Lisa’s dog went in her sleep and Scott thinks how much easier that would have been.

Stacey shares about being pregnant, about getting an abortion, about how she never really had him, but it still feels like she lost him anyways. And maybe Aiden was never a part of Scott’s pack. But in the end, he was Scott’s friend, and burying him still hurt.

Tracey talks about a piece of science homework she lost the day Harris disappeared, about how she had nightmares that he would come after her for an assignment she never found. And maybe she needed that homework, but Derek definitely needed that bullet, and when she describes the nail marks she found in the morning, he feels his heart race as he reaches through the grating.

Corey talks about a boyfriend who pushed him away and then died, and then, then Scott talks about Allison.

“It all happened so fast.” He repeats, just like he had to the cops that night. And he inhales.

“I was right there.”

Exhale.

“and I couldn’t do anything.”

Inhale.

“She told me that it was okay.”

Exhale.

“She said she wouldn’t change anything.”

Inhale.

“That she was in the arms of her first love.”

Exhale.

“She died to save us.”

Inhale.

“She’s gone.”

His voice breaks and then he can’t inhale.

They all stare for a second before the figure out what’s going on, before they realize that something else is wrong.

There’s chaos and movement but all he can see is Allison, brave and strong and beautiful, gasping and falling in the dark.

He coughs, and then Allison morphs into Stacey, the girl from science that Malia told him about, the girl who died with mercury on her breath and fear on her tongue. Then she turns into Corey, the boy he had to hurt to help and who died anyways. Then Tracey, who had been so strong, but had still died in the end.  

And then he inhales. Theo. They had been here this whole time. Somehow, he’s landed on the ground, and he struggles, flinching and clawing at the hands that seemed open minutes ago, so confining now. Their faces flash before him, empty in death, but still working to hurt him.

“No!” He chokes out as they strap him down. Lights flash all around him, but eventually settle into a single blinking pattern. Allison’s face wavers above him, but she can’t help him. There are tears streaking down his face, because damn, this was supposed to be over.

The harsh gas mask of the Dread Doctors replaces Allison’s face. He inhales shakily, and glares up, eyes flaring.

“Let me go!” He screams, pulling against the restraints they’ve wrapped around his wrists and ankles. They’re not the soft restraints he’s only needed twice, they’re chains, thick and heavy around his wrists. He’s always been good at breaking barriers, but there’s mesh and then there’s iron. He feels them move to a part of Eichen he’s never been to before. They’ve gone past the supernatural wing. He doesn’t know, can’t figure it out. Can’t get out.

Eventually they stop. There’s still a light shining in his eyes, and he closes them. There’s no point in fighting, he’s already lost.

He can still see shapes and shadows pressing against his eyelids. He squeezed them tighter. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.

Someone touches his hand, lightly, like they don’t want to hurt him. But he reacts automatically, and suddenly he can feel poison running through his veins. Whoever is touching him sighs in release. His eyes force their way open as he tries to escape, and he can see black running up his arms. It travels bone deep and all over until he’s tense and shaking with it. He can’t stop it.

“Stop!” He gasps, pulling, twisting away, but the grip on his wrist is tighter than handcuffs and a glare on a full moon. God, he would trade in a second.

But then it stops. He inhales.

They haven’t let go, there’s just nothing left to take.

“I’m sorry, Scott. But they need this. And I think you need this too.” It’s Theo’s voice, and it rings in his ears long after it starts again.

* * *

 Stiles had never intended to go anywhere without Scott. It had been the plan since before they were old enough to know where they were going to college. He had been repeating “No one gets left behind,” since the PSATs, and “It’s you and me against the world” for even longer.

And yet he had still ended up in a single dorm room at UCLA, and he hadn’t seen Scott in months. It had been years since he’d gone without seeing Scott for twenty-four hours. And now this.

UCLA was like a breath of fresh air after Beacon Hills High. None of the teachers hated him, detention wasn’t a thing, and nothing had tried to kill him in months.

But he saw Scott’s absence everywhere, in hallways and cafeterias and in his dreams.

And it sucked because this time, he didn’t have anyone to blame but himself.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he favored it over World History any day, so he answered without looking at the number.

“Hello?” His pen whipped around his fingers and he caught it just in time.

“This is an automated request for a call from Eichen House patient number three-nine-zero-four. Press one to accept.” Said the computer. He flipped the pen over his knuckles. He didn’t know anyone in Eichen House except Peter.

No way could he accept the call if it was from Peter.

“If you would like to talk to patient three-nine-zero-four, please press one.” The pen finally settled in the hollow between his index finger and his thumb. His right thumb hovered over the end call button.

He couldn’t. He had left Beacon Hills for a reason.

He pressed the end call button. Tossed the pen.

The phone rang. “This is an automated request for a call from Eichen House patient number three-nine-zero—” End call. His fingers fumbled to block the number before they could call him again.

He was done with Beacon Hills. And starting now, he was done thinking about Scott.

* * *

A million miles away, Scott put down the phone. If he wasn't going to talk to Stiles, he had to go to group. Today, Theo was leading. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, and it's still short. Real life is kicking my ass right now, and even though things are heading for the upside, updates will still be sporadic until the end of November due to NaNoWriMo. I hope you enjoyed, drop me a comment to let me know what you think!!  
> Love, Abby!

**Author's Note:**

> Well it's shitty and not complete, but it's here! Hello there. As you may have noticed from the tags, this is by no means complete. It was supposed to be but I'm slow and school is hard. I hoped you enjoyed it; new chapters will be posted weekly. As always, leave a kudos or review if you liked it, and if you didn't, I appreciate your time. My tumblr is donttouchmyseaweedbrain. Thanks for reading!  
> -Love, Abby.


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